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December 11, 2004

administration lost its sense of fun!

Man, am I disappointed that the candidate for homeland security chief withdrew himself last night.  It's a real shame.  And on a Friday evening, as well!  It's almost like Bernard Kerik was trying to avoid a workday headline or something.

The reason he gave for hitting the eject button was your standard "nanny problem" -- he had employed an illegal alien as a domestic.  Which, you know, makes him unfit for public service.  I sympathize.  It's the same excuse I use when I come home a little late from the bar, or forget to swab out the litter box.

The disappointment, however, comes from the fact that his prospective confirmation hearing was fixing to resemble a bllodbath, a fun bloodbath, the kind of bloodbath that makes you look up what channel CSPAN is.

In lieu of running down his c.v., lemme throw it over to Doug Ireland, who hits it and quits:

The list of Kerik's faults being paraded in the press during the course of the week included: his abandonment of his girlfriend and their lovechild in North Korea (the "family values" right didn't care for that one); his use of Department of Corrections cops to campaign for a Republican mayoral candidate; his bankruptcy; his awarding an honorary police commissionership to his publisher; his misuse of over a million bucks allocated to buy cigarettes for inmates of the city's jails; his $6.2 million windfall doing an insider trade in stock from Taser International, which did huge business with the Dept. of Homeland Security Bernie was supposed to head...

The only thing Doug doesn't include in this list is the highly publicized selection of Kerik to advise the Iraqi Interior Ministry in May of 2003.  He job putatively was to focus his "I was police chief during 9-11" superpowers on the Iraqi police force.  After a couple months and some in-country photo ops in combat gear, he snuck out the side door  Strangely, his departure was not so publicized.  TPM goes into some depth here.

I just hope that the chit Rudy Guiliani called in to get Kerik nominated was not his last with the Administration.  I'm sure there remain a number of qualified morally bankrupt shitbird 9-11 opportunists over at Guiliani Partners who could use the national spotlight to help them count and embrace their sins.

And we could use the laffs.

Posted by mrbrent at 1:51 PM

December 10, 2004

stop victimizing the majority, you fools, you fools

It seems I'm feeling very linky this week.  Maybe you've heard whispers of the latest, bestest example of Bill O'Reilly cleverly using his own words to beat himself about the head and neck.  And, no, none of those words are falafel.

The short version is that O'Reilly is mad that some people called certain O'Reilly dumb-ass comments in "defense" of Christmas dumb-ass.  I know, that's a bad sentence, there, but that's the best short version I can offer.  Long version here.

The operating hypothesis behind the original O'Reilly comments, and the ensuing willfully ignorant indignation, is that, in America, the minority should conform to the will of the majority, or at the very least shut up about it.  In this instance, it's framed as a Jews/Christmas issue, but it works as a gays/marriage issue or a Janet Jackson's boob/Super Bowl issue.  It does not work as a chocolate/peanut butter issue, however.

It's the heart of the "conservative" ideology that is the most offensive to a rational person (or Canadian, or European): "Attempts to subvert our moral imperative hurt our feelings, and are therefore wrong."  They (don't wanna say blue-staters, but it's the best shorthand) not only to seek to rule, as a majority, but wish to protect this rule with the illusion of unanimity.  That is to say, at the heart of every bully is a big cry-baby.

So, time to buckle down on the Orwell some more, O'Reilly!  Your attempts to browbeat the moral highground are clumsy and foolish, and your girlish boo-hoo bores us.  Word.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:46 AM

December 9, 2004

just wanna give the nation a bath

[Via Eschaton:]  Offered with no comment, other than, "Yet more motherfuckers who embarrass our fucking species."

Click here.

Posted by mrbrent at 6:05 PM

he doesn't speak klingon, but he can read it.

I'm no expert on fashion.  I still think that that Chuck Taylors are comfortable and that all men look better in a suit.

It just seems to me that someone just promoted himself to President of the United Federation of Planets.

Posted by mrbrent at 11:16 AM

December 7, 2004

stop the newspaper-making presses

A mysterious, gauzy contribution to the National Novelty Index this morning by our friends that operate the Yahoo Box of News:
• U.S. troops capture bomb-making Iraqis

Sometimes, funny don't know why.

Well, back to rent-paying work!

Posted by mrbrent at 8:42 AM

December 6, 2004

help please

So, I'm sitting around a doing a little quick research, but apparently my time away with the Chocolate/Peanut Butter Troubles have eroded my once-magical research skillz.

I have a distinct memory of reading at least two instances in the past fourteen days of writers defending the legacy of Sen. Joe McCarthy, and McCarthyism in general.  This is where you cue the SFX of one's hat flying straight up off one's head, and then landing.  Slide whistle?  Slide whistle works for everything.

So, after the cursory websearch that I call "extensive" when I describe it to you, I can't find them.  I did find this, a neat little soundboard/page, but no confirmation of the head-scratching attempts to rehabilitate the reputation of McCarthy, who should really be left in peace to his brimstone cocktail hours with Roy Cohn in Hell.

So, if you run across any old links, or any new ones, please drop me a line at titivil at this website dot com.  Why?  Easy.  McCarthy hero-worship is a stick I intend to beat people with.


Posted by mrbrent at 7:18 PM

inevitible return

The chocolate/peanut butter situation has partly abated.  Now comes the long, slow work of climbing out of the newshole and returning to the amateur writey grind.

I do know that news happened while my attention was elsewhere.  I know this because of the pile of newspapers next to my desk.  I assume they are chock fulla news -- the choicest news around, fixed in print for my learning digestment.

Though I must confess that the time away was not entirely newsless, as an "US Weekly" was purchased and consumed, so I'm pretty much up to speed on the whole Nick/Jessica thing.  Thank God our myths are manufactured for us, and stupid like hammer boxes.

So, hey!  It's great to be back.

You guys are great.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:11 AM