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December 17, 2004

yahoo alla time

Like a laser, the Yahoo Box O' Headlines cuts through it:
• Pilot error blamed in N.J. school strafing

Because, you know, for a while there they were wondering if it was the school's fault.

Posted by mrbrent at 5:18 PM

actual time-wasting

It's fist-fight with the computer time here at the Dayjob Archipelago.  I told them years ago that an offsite server was a betamax-level bad idea.  Nyah.

So, as the techs make their magic, I decided to opt for some fun.  Because I like fun.

You can play too.  [Via Bloggerbrain]

Posted by mrbrent at 3:53 PM

and I thought last night was bad

[A holiday note from our friend Kev in the UK:]

As the British Christmas season kicks in, police forces around the kingdom are mobilising to repel revellers on the streets, beginning this evening.  Marauding insurgents will be pursued and eliminated.  Street urinators will be handed a mop & bucket and coerced to clean up their "territorial markings".

In Wales, the authorities have seconded Cardiff's Millenium stadium, where they have installed a FIELD HOSPITAL to moderate the traditional impact of the celebrations on the local casualty departments!*

Oh yeh, we Brits know how to enjoy ourselves alright, and if you wanna argue about it, come over here, we'll smash yer fuckin' teeth in!  ENGERLAND, ENGERLAND, ENGERLAND.....etc

*I myself, aged 17, drunk, spent the latter hours of Christmas Eve 1975 in a casualty department, mildly disported as the survivor of a colossal car wreck in which totalled the car ( disintegrated) two walls, numerous fences & gates, yet despite the gnarled remains, spared the lives of the five of us—although there was a lot of blood.  (The driver went into the engine housing, whilst his girlfried left via the windscreen.)  The Fiat in front of us with the TWELVE guys in reached the pub unscathed!  My Top Cat T-Shirt was RUINED.

Posted by mrbrent at 2:02 PM

is this thing on?

Attended an office X-Mas party last night.

So insert hangover joke here.  Something about too loud, or too bright.  Or the snakes just being hallucinations.

Posted by mrbrent at 11:44 AM

December 16, 2004

i'm the worst party ever

Today I'm getting to thinking, "Maybe I do care too much about the politics and not enough about the fun.  After all, this is just a big choir-preaching echo-chamber with lousy music and house-brand cocktails.  Maybe I should just lighten up."

And so, I refer you to the Entertainment Master.

Please laugh til you hurt only metaphorically.

Posted by mrbrent at 6:03 PM

self-immolation in slow-mo

If, like me, you are unable to rip your eyes from the Bernard Kerik defenestration, then go to TPM.  He's doing a great job of linking each new Kerik crime and misdemenor as it is reported, primarily in the NY dailies.

If you're not like me, and you don't find all this inside baseball political bullshit entertaining, well, then, I'm failing you.

Posted by mrbrent at 11:40 AM

December 15, 2004

and he is an asshole

I grew up in a profanity-free household.  We weren't freakish about it or anything, and we were the first ones on the block with the obviously profane HBO, but my parents didn't do so much of the swearing.  Nor did I, unlike now.  Now, I swear like a drunken longshoreman having a panic attack.

One word that gains the favor in the Titivil household is "asshole".  Not even one of Carlin's Seven Dirty Words, "asshole" probably can be heard on primetime television -- I wouldn't know, but it seems to make sense.  But still we favor it over more juicy profanity.  There's a lot focused annoyance and loss of patience with third parties around the house.  The neighbors with their furniture dance parties, like over at Monk's, the drunks ringing the doorbell at three in the morning, etc.  Them folk we call "asshole".  Because they are.  It's, like, our "like".

But my Dad, on the rare occasion that he would say "asshole" -- man, he really put some feeling behind it.  There was an utter contempt and pity dropping off the word, and a rage at a world that allows people to be assholes without any shame or self-knowledge.  Dad would speak the word, and then the sky would split with gales and electricity.  It had a violence behind it, aimed at intimidating the "asshole" out of the sinner.

Well, it is my Dad's version of the word I intend when I continue to insist that the President is an asshole.  Just a petty and feckless asshole.

You'd think the Bush millions would've at least bought him some manners.

Posted by mrbrent at 5:57 PM

handing that shit out like methadone

You've probably seen the photo on the front page of your local newspaper.  Yesterday, the President bestowed the Presidential Medal of Freedom upon George Tenet, the former Director of the CIA.

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the highest honor that can be awarded to a civilian in the US.  You can tell by the inclusion of the word "freedom" in the name of the medal.  Apparently, "freedom" is the highest lexicographical honor that can be awarded by the English language, like a trump card in bridge, or an amulet in Dungeons and Dragons.

What I can't figure out is this: is Tenet being awarded the Medal for his outstanding pre-Iraq invasion intelligence, or for his prevention of the 9-11 attacks?

Yatzee!

Posted by mrbrent at 10:33 AM

December 14, 2004

two things to start

Two things this morning that struck me in the bad way:

One.  No, not that whole story, but the first sentence of the sixth paragraph, the one that starts with, "A cheer went up outside the courthouse..."  Maybe I'm not much of a moral values guy, but, even if you are tolerant of the death penalty, cheering a death verdict makes you a fucking ghoul.  God, if you believe in Him, wouldn't be cheering with you.  He would think it poor taste.  So, go make some popcorn and rent a snuff film and revel in what you are: a sadistic and cheesey voyeur.

Two.  New magazines are coming.  About poker.  The first one's called -- wait for it -- "All In".  Coming to a supermarket aisle near you, next to the shopping porn, and the celebrity gossip/worship porn.  And let me just play a little prevent defense and say that "Trackback", as a name of a magazine about "blogging", has already been made fun of as dumb-assed.  By me.  Now.

Posted by mrbrent at 8:35 AM

December 13, 2004

good morning suckas

One of my favorite topics over the past few years is the debate in the Defense/Intelligence community over how to manipulate foreign public opinion relating to us, their own personal global superpower, the United States of America.  The thinking is, see, that we are not loved enough, and, in order to garner our fair share of love, we need to find new ways to inspire love.  Like lying, and extortion.

So imagine my surprise to read a above-the-fold story in this morning's NYTimes with the following lead paragraph:

The Pentagon is engaged in bitter, high-level debate over how far it can and should go in managing or manipulating information to influence opinion abroad, senior Defense Department civilians and military officers say.

You might think that the reason I would get all riled over this is because I'm opposed to the idea of lies, lies, lies.

True, I am opposed to lies.  However, I am more opposed to the idea that the Department of Defense could ever pull off anything so subtle as influence international opinion.  That would be hard.  The DoD couldn't even pull off the invasion of a relatively unarmed nation under tyrant rule.  Now they want to "market" their "brand"?

Maybe a sorta "lovable loser" campaign might work best.

Now get to work!

Posted by mrbrent at 7:23 AM