June 29, 2005
service interruptionLast night's address from the president I watched the way most Americans watched it: Not at all. And, boy, was it convincing.
I'm still trying to figure out what "the terrible piano lesson of 9-11" was. But I will say, we learned that terrible pieno lesson. And now we're taking that terrible piano lesson to Iraq, and then Iran, and then Canada, or wherever else Haliburton can make a buck.
As they say in the Internets, "posting will be light" over the holiday, as we here at Titivil will be treating it like a holiday. You know, working, writing bills and trying not to criticize the war effort, as it clearly is what is losing the battle, just as domestic cynicism in Germany and Japan caused them to lose WWII. And after that, they didn't even have a chance to enter the Korean conflict, or Vietnam.
So, you see.
Posted by mrbrent at 4:19 PM
June 28, 2005
mission re-accomplishedTonight the president brings his school pageantry to national televisions all over the nation. Even now (6:30p EST) administration aides are trying to talk Army brass into maneuvering Fort Bragg around 180 degrees so the backdrop of the speech is more freedom loving.
Yes, the speech, the purpose of which is to remind Americans that they do too support Bush and his little war, will be held at an Army base, as the only more captive audience for the president would have been at Gitmo, where an enthusiastic response could not be guaranteed, at least on such short notice.
Personally, I hope the president takes the time to call me and all my friends traitors, as that seems to be the best the majority party can manage in the way of, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." The great thing about the new McCarthyism is that when you are threatened with persecution for something you think, you get to practice saying, "At long last, sir -- have you no shame?" over and over again in the mirror.
It is novel, watching as the deck chairs are rearranged, though I've thought that before and the resilience of the Forces of Righteousness cannot be questioned (though it can be mocked and derided).
Posted by mrbrent at 6:30 PM
June 27, 2005
i'm not funnyNobody else thinks that misreading something at a glance is funny, but I do. Maybe you do, too. Does the following example from the Yahoo! Rectangular Newsheads Container make you tee hee?
• Court splits on Ten Commandments displays
Today's instance of juvenile word replacement humor is brought to you by the unnamed copy editor's choice of the preposition "on" over "over".
Posted by mrbrent at 2:04 PM
praise the lord; also, pass the lord as wellAmerican evangelicals decide they're going to win the war the old-fashioned way: By converting the shit out of anything that moves!
My favorite sentence is the first one, complete with dateline:
BAGHDAD -- With arms outstretched, the congregation at National Evangelical Baptist Church belted out a praise hymn backed up by drums, electric guitar, and keyboard.
You have to have survived a childhood of serial Protestantism followed by a brief flirtation with Born-Againism (thanks to Young Life) to understood that Christianity melded to the electric guitar and keyboard is the most powerful force in the world. Waaaaaay more powerful than Hulkamania.
Come on, Iraqis! They're just going to hang out, have some soda and cake, sing some songs and then share the Good News of Jesus! It'll turn your little insurgent frown upside down! (And your eyes all glassy.)
Posted by mrbrent at 9:57 AM