August 26, 2005
matt taibbi downHey, more about the New York Press! New York's easiest free weekly to lift!
Remaining a fan of the art of the free weekly, I noticed that, since Jeff Koyen, who did bang up job, was abruptly shown the door, a new regime was being installed to run the House That Russ Built.
The first issue of such regime was published this week, and it included a little Manifesto of what to expect from new editor Harry Siegel. Sadly, the best I can say about the Manifesto is that it was limp and confounding. (Non-partisanship from the New Partisans? Dictionaries are free on the web.)
But more importantly I noticed that my long-time favorite columnist, Matt Taibbi, was missing. I scanned back issues on the net and found that Taibbi had decided to move on. Which sucks.
I then spent a goodly part of a portion of time trying to find where Taibbi would land. I could not find anything. No real news other than scary new editors at NYPress (scary, at least, to the last man who cares about NYPress), and Taibbi leaving with the back-handed swipe. Nothing more to see here, really, move along.
But then Gawker had to go and haterize all over Taibbi.
So now I have to make with the reciprocal haterizing.
Hey, you kids editing Gawker! Don't hate! Appreciate! I know, you don't like the curmudgeonly writers, given your past girlslap at Breslin, and now Taibbi. Fine. I'm not so crazy about endless coverage of ageing luxury real estate mavens, or witless trustafarians. You are. Maybe its something we're born with. But someday, when the universe's thirst for items is quenched (in Sci Fi, they call it the "Singularity"), it'll be time to write your way out of the paper bag that is gossip columny. Start practicing now.
If anyone hears where Taibbi ends up (other than Rolling Stone -- already familiar with that gig) let me know.
Posted by mrbrent at 4:39 PM
fresh new words dailyThis morning the Yahoo! Headline Corral is mostly concerned that you Americans ain't so good with that SCOTUS mubo-jumbo:
• Legal terms at Roberts hearing may confound
Also, apparently the word "confuse" was being used by some other Yahoo! headline.
Posted by mrbrent at 9:38 AM
August 25, 2005
destroy all coastal humansA quick Yahoo! Rectangle of Headlines at close of business:
• Bush ready to assist with Katrina damage
As if the damage from a hurricane wouldn't be enough.
Them's the perks of not having to run for re-election.
Posted by mrbrent at 6:57 PM
digital vengeanceAttention, perverts of Earth: Technology gonna gitchoo.
Take, for example, Pervert 081805. He decided he'd get busy wid it on a subway train, in the afternoon, while leering at a young lady. Sadly, young lady had a camera phone.
Ahh, in the old days, the worst thing that could happen is that you'd get beat half to death by an angry mob.
I post this only in the interest of mocking and deriding Pervert 081805, who is about to become the most famous Pervert in modern history. Here's to ya, Pork Chop!
Posted by mrbrent at 10:59 AM
August 24, 2005
berke breathedAlways had a soft spot for Berkeley Breathed and his comic strips. I haven't been a large fan of his more recent work, but I love interviews with him -- it seems he hammers each sentence out of some metallic alloy before he speaks them.
Please find a recent brief example here:
Posted by mrbrent at 4:52 PM
mike jacobs vipI try to mostly keep my enthusiasms to myself. Well, other than politics, and whining.
The New York Mets are one of my enthusiasms, as are their single A short season farm team, the Brooklyn Cyclones. And I would very much like to send out "props" (as our parents used to call them) to Mike Jacobs, current back-up catcher/first baseman for the Mets and former Cyclones star.
Why "props" to a puny baseball player, and not to the Incredible Hulk? I'll tell you why.
The very first Cyclones game I ever saw (I think it was the second or third home game of their inaugural 2001 season) had a Big Game atmosphere. Standing room only, the crowd, including a couple thousand old timers whose last Brooklyn baseball game had been at Ebbets Field, was soaking up the Nathan's hot dogs and the Brooklyn Brewery brew and the Atlantic Ocean lapping at Coney Island over the right field fence. There was Party Marty with the mid-inning contests; there was a hot dog race; there was an escaped disco lunatic (with his homemade sign). To be sitting at the nostalgic intersection of Brooklyn and baseball is a very livening evening.
Somewhere in the late innings, I think as a pitcher was getting in some practice tosses before the start of the inning proper, a shirtless fat guy jumped from the first base line stands onto the field. The crowd cheers, as crowds generally approve of tomfoolery, though some in the crowd (including me and my friends) did not approve, as the Cyclones were up and watching a baseball game is much preferable to watching a shirtless fat guy run around. The fat shirtless guy pretty easily evaded security (in worse shape than the fat shirtless guy), and then decided that he would run the bases. The Cyclones infielders all crossed their arms and did their best to stay out of his way.
Except for the catcher, Mike Jacobs.
Mike stood on home plate. That's what a catcher does -- protect home plate. The shirtless fat guy rounded third, and the fans were losing patience. He barreled down the third base line, with security wheezing after him. Mike did not move. And as the shirtless fat guy tried to go home -- no sliding, just a straight fat guy gallop -- Mike Jacobs leveled him. Mike put his shoulder down and exploded up into the gut of the shirtless fat guy, who was propelled up into the air, landing on his back, with Mike Jacobs on top of him.
The crowd asploded.
And that, my friends, is the greatest fat shirtless guy story ever told.
I am happy to see that Mike's achievement years ago has been rewarded with a walk-off home run in his first MLB at bat last Saturday, and I hope that this is no mere cup of coffee for Mike in the Bigs.
Posted by mrbrent at 2:03 PM
August 23, 2005
nobody expects the utah state policeIn case you don't have enough to be enraged about: some Utah cops got all black helicopter (in a Tompkins Square kind of way) on some ravers.
Then dig the follow-up.
That shit is breakneck to Kent State.
Posted by mrbrent at 4:33 PM
pat robertson plus fatwa equals funThis always happens. I'm away for a "work" day and then the best news stories ever break.
For example, had I been near some news-delivering apparatus yesterday, I would have been able to bask in the glory of Pat Robertson calling for the murder of a head of state on national television. Just when you think that the dominionist Christians had run out of hypocricy, they tap a gusher. Unless there's something in the Ten Comandments about it being cool to kill Venezuelans (as long as they're in season).
What would Jesus do: sniper, or arsenic-laced cigar?
And, even better, Robertson has begun to market a weight loss beverage, the controversy over which may well split the Internet in half!
In half, I tell you!
[Do check the link to the first story from canada.com -- it is witheringly funny.
"We don't need another $200-billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," [Robertson] said of the democratically elected Chavez.
That's gotta leave a mark.]
Posted by mrbrent at 10:18 AM