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November 12, 2005

dog bites man

Nothing like a little light reading from the Yahoo! Headline Box to jumpstart the weekend:
• Blogger takes on N.Y. Times chief food critic

Once I finished retching, I clicked the story, wondering if maybe there was news contained therein.

There was not.

Here's a headline for you:

• Blogger takes on stupid stories about stupid bloggers

Posted by mrbrent at 11:29 AM

November 11, 2005

oh that Cheney

The Yahoo! Rectangle of Doom Headlines puts me in a tight spot:
• Bush honors veterans, Cheney lays wreath

Can I go here:  "Yeah, well, the way the wreath was dressed, the wreath was asking for it."  Does this leave the realm of funny entirely?

Though, come on!  The poetry of that little headline is much better than Yahoo! can usually muster.  If you read it out loud, you can practically hear the rimshot at the end.

If you can actually hear the rimshot, then you are either a drummer, or Peter Braunstein.

I guess the headline refers to a little speech the President has made to answer his critics (all six billion of them) on the Iraq War.  Hopefully by now, he's at least got these Iraq War speeches memorized.

Maybe I'll read it later, once the whiskey takes hold.

Posted by mrbrent at 12:57 PM

pat robertson -- bring it, searchbots

This would be the easy part.  Linking up some story about more Pat Robertson fuck-wittery (like this), add snark, rinse, repeat.  That would be your standard issue post on the fly.

But to distill said story into slogan/icon, is less easy, yes?  That's some news you can use.

[To refer to snark without offering it is like bringing McDonalds to a potluck, so, snark:

If the whole point of these ID zealots is to paint Intelligent Design as a science and absolutely not a gussied up Creationism, then how useful is it to them to have Super-Christian Pat Robertson threatening disasterification of Dover Township, PA because they voted out the ID slate of the school board?  Very useful, to me at least.

There, then.]

Posted by mrbrent at 9:23 AM

November 10, 2005

"i predict he will go down in three"

Muhammad Ali?

Still The Greatest of All Time.

Posted by mrbrent at 2:19 PM

November 9, 2005

NJ to Corzine ex: shhhh

Nothing muddies up the newsscape like Election Day.  Instead of national events slowly unfolding and the occasional disaster, an armful of fixed quantity newslets expode here and there, only to be forgotten tomorrow, at the latest.  So I like to congratulate all the new mayors and governors across the country, and apologize in advance for forgetten your names in about, oh, six hours.

I would also like to send a very special wet, sloppy kiss to a certain new naturally-selected school board, who truly give meaning to the phrase "survival of the fittest".  It's been a central plank of the conservative Republican thirty year plan to load school boards and other very local offices with true believers (you know, so that zoning ordinances will conform with God's will).  Fortunately, we are learning that the damage can be quickly undone.

And finally, now that the New Jersey governor's race is decided, let's hope that Joanne Corzine finds something useful to do with her time.  The only thing more impressive about her "lady scorned" act than its sleeziness was the blowback (IMHO).

Posted by mrbrent at 11:38 AM

November 8, 2005

even the hypocrisy is now bumbling

I was going to righteously indignate all over this story.  You know, Frist and Hastert finally find a leak investigation they can get behind, some more snark, a couple swear words -- we all know the drill.

Now I don't have to bother.

As a side note, when the Adimistration pushed Trent Lott down the gangplank a few years ago, they really should've driven a stake through his heart first, because he's still around, and he's got a little love to give back, if you know what I mean.

Yes, you do.

Posted by mrbrent at 5:14 PM

syntax, people, syntax

The Yahoo! Headline Container casts a bleary eye towards the Continent:
• French authorize curfews to stop rioting

Great.  Now even the curfews are rioting.

Posted by mrbrent at 8:54 AM