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November 3, 2006

elections only hit me when they're drunk

News is flying, and I'm too busy to do anything but pay attention.  Perhaps this is a bad indication of the state of affairs, but I have the same feelings of anxiety and restlessness leading up to elections that I have leading up to my team playing in the Super Bowl.

Of course, when my team loses, kids don't continue to get sent to a useless war, and civilians don't drown in their attics.

But yeah, I'm nervous, and I don't trust the predictions.  Fuckers own the voting machines, and I think that we can all stop associating a tin foil hat with that concept.  When your political party's central tenet is the acquisition and perpetuation of power, no silly thing like a Constitution is going to stand in anyone's way.

So, deep inside, I'm hopeful -- hopeful that if the fuckers do fix some elections, they do it in a manner brazen enough to warrant investigation, prosecution, pitchforks, torches, etc.

In the meantime, did you know that Dilbert runs a Weasel Awards?  Ain't that the cutest little thing?  See, Americans, do like to vote!

Posted by mrbrent at 2:52 PM

November 2, 2006

boo

No, I did not do anything Halloweeny.  My costume devising really peaked in the late 70s when I went as the Empire State Building, even taking considering my brief flirtation with "conceptual" costumes in the mid 90s (oh, the Cacophony).  By now I can't even muster the smart-ass response to, "What are you supposed to be dressed as?" like I used to be.  Not even a, "Your Mom," as I realized that, now that I have friends whose mothers have passed, the funny kind of trickled out of that one.

So no.  I played some pool, and then I watched me some Food Network.

But, I still do believe in the scary and the horrifying in connection with your general Halloween/All Soul's Day vicinity, and so I offer you a genuinely scarifying piece of short fiction.

It's short.  You'll like it.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:59 AM

November 1, 2006

please wrap flag tighter

So that little kerfluffle over John Kerry had some legs.  Who could have guessed that the Administration would want to change the subject so urgently?

It's heartening to see that the President thinks that Kerry's leaden joke is the most important issue facing the country.  I guess that Bush's overriding support of the troops forced him to speak truth to powerless.

Coincidentally, while the television news interests are following this important and breaking story, yesterday US Forces abandoned a missing soldier under the orders of the Iraqi Prime Minister.  I wish that were an exaggeration, but the PM ordered checkpoints surrounding Sadr City dismantled.  US forces complied.

I don't want to comment on the implications of the story as far as the occupation goes -- I am a pretty bad armchair general.  I just want to stress that this story is in no way more important than the errant words of a man who is not running for office.  (And the resulting very, very genuine outrage.  Outrage!  At said errant words.)

U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Posted by mrbrent at 9:07 AM

October 31, 2006

john kerry finally riled two years too late

Who'da thunk that I'd post a link to the words of John Kerry?  But here I go.  Kerry made a remark to some college students about getting "stuck in Iraq".  Then the White House went all a-week-before-the-election on Kerry, accusing him of calling US occupying forces "losers" or some such something.  They kick-started the outrage engines and made sure they're standing in front of thirty-foot flags, demanding apologies (and the flag's in the shot, right?).

And then Kerry got all, "Fuck me?  Fuck you," back at them.  No, not really, but about as close to, "Why don't you come over here and say that to my face," as I'd ever expect a Democrat to be.  Fo'sample:

I'm sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.  I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq.

Sure, I'd wish those words could come out of the mouths of other politicians than John Kerry, but I'll take what I can get.  Hopefully, this is a virus going around that the rest of the caucus catches.

Plus also, he called Limbaugh fat.  How can he be wrong?

Posted by mrbrent at 3:23 PM

meet the new bitch

Remember last year's Marie Antoinette moment?  That was back when a hurricane had wiped a city off the American map, and a couple thousand people drowned in their attics while the federal government stood around and slapped each other on the back.  Asked about New Orleans refugees camped out in the Astrodome, Bush clan matron Barbara Bush snooted, "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Which is why you should vote Republican this year -- they like the poor better in interment camps.

Somehow this casual monstrousness was passed down through her idiot son and somehow into her daughter-in-law.  Apparently, Laura Bush has little tolerance for those suffering from debilitating disease.  In her words, referring to the campaigning efforts of Michael J. Fox, "It’s always easy to manipulate people’s feelings, especially when you are talking about diseases that are so difficult."

That is a very impressive hateful little heart, Mrs. First Lady, but your arms are too short to box with Michael J. Fox.  What could be more fair than for someone who actually has a disease to speak up for its cure?  Attack the messenger all you want -- the voting public will no doubt be entertained by your beating up on a dude with Parkinson's.

Which leaves me to wonder: what's the word that connotes unkind feelings towards people displaying symptoms of degenerative disease -- you know, along the lines of "racist" and "homophobe"?  There should be one.

Posted by mrbrent at 12:15 PM

October 30, 2006

tom the dancing bug

I've long been a fan of Ruben Bolling's Tom the Dancing Bug.  You may have seen the weekly strip in your local "free weekly", which you obviously only pick up for the funnies, yes, and therefore are indeed familiar.  His work is sharp and sometimes political, sometimes meta (specifically in his "Super-Fun-Paks").  And we all like the meta, as we are of a certain age, one in which irony will never die.

I am occasioned in bringing up how much I like Mr. Bolling's work by the fact that, in this week's strip, Mr. Bolling reveals that he and I share a vital trait.

An antipathy for Mallard Fillmore.

Well played, Mr. Bolling, if that is in fact your name.

Posted by mrbrent at 5:44 PM

snohomish high cross country -- hi!

No, I'm not making excuses for not posting.  I had been posting.  My host decided to reflect my life in general and eat another week's posts.

Sadly, the host was (for once) actually polite about it, so I will not snark them in public.  I've recovered most of them from search engine caches, so valuable writing-cleverly time will be subsumed with re-posting, because this shit is not an avocation, dammit, but rather a dark secret monkey on my back.

Oh, yes, while I'm here -- Coach Dan Parker, of the Snohomish High School Cross Country program?  One of your alums blames you personally for not motivating the men's team this season.  How do I know?  This alum sat behind me on a two hour bus ride last night, talking on his cell phone the entire way, just like a teenage girl.  It was the shittiest bus ride ever.  So then, Mr [I know your name and current school -- the Internets work!], let this be a lesson about dropping personal details (repeatedly) in a conversation on crowded bus.  Or, try this -- "manners".

Posted by mrbrent at 9:02 AM