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October 1, 2004

no i'm not

A friend of mine who Walks the Corridors of Power just called me a "blogging motherfucker".

No, no, my friend, I am no such thing.  I am an "amateur writer".  I do this for practice, and to lower my blood pressure.  Sure, I used to do something similar to this on a different site years ago, back before the world developed a crush on Ana Marie, but then the bottom dropped out and I hit a skid where I didn't have so much to say.  Now, I have things to say, and hopefully I'll get better and better at saying them.  No real goals to speak of, except to maybe again single-handed derail the career of Trent Lott.  Of course, wanting to rederail Lott puts you on a level with "screenwriter" as far as the courseness of one's ambition goes.

Hmmmm.  Screenwriting...

Yes, Mr Power Corridor was only busting my chops, but, it's a point I've been meaning to touch on.  I think the only way I'll include the word "blog" in a sentence is if I also include the word "electroclash".

Besides, I only felt comfortable jumping in the pool once the water had been drained.

Posted by mrbrent at 4:32 PM

can i have some more whine

I realize that I earlier suggested "smirking, squinty lies" as the narrative thread of the President's debate performance, but, in retrospect, the President's lies were less bald than usual.

So I withdraw that suggestion, and replace it with the narrative thread of "whiney crybaby".  I hope to see that phrase in the same sentence as "this President" frequently.

It would brighten my day.

Posted by mrbrent at 12:26 PM

sun shiney day

Unbelievable how my mostly left=leaning co-workers are all in indisputably good moods this morning.

Finally, Poland is good for something other than being invaded.

Thank youuu!  Just kiddin, Poland, you old dawg!

Posted by mrbrent at 11:05 AM

September 30, 2004

drinking is not a game

I've read in places too various to link clever versions of drinking games for tonight's Presidential Debate (which is going to be more of a mad-lib than a debate, from what I can gather from the new and exciting debate rules).  Well, here's mine: even time I get upset because the leader of the free world is a smirking, squinting liar, I will drink.

After a couple of rounds of that, the President bears a strong resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman -- a very blurry Alfred E. Neuman.

Posted by mrbrent at 4:37 PM

security blimp

Before I write anything of substance, I just gotta say "security blimp" out loud a couple of time.  You should try it.  "Security blimp.  Security blimp."  Thas some funny shit, and I'm sober like four out of five judges.

Yesterday morning, metro DC commuters were shocked to see what at first was assumed to be a UFO (well, if you think about the acronym, duh) or maybe a very cute, slow moving terrorist attack.

But no, it's the Security Blimp, which the US Army was "testing" over the busy streets of our nation's capitol.  From what I can gather, it's a big old eye in the sky, as they say, to be used to surveil, or maybe even "spy".  It's loaded with cameras and imaging equipment and the like, so it can detect things like troop movements and traffic jams, and really hot pedestrians.  Dunno why metro DC is an appropriate place to test something like this, well, except for the really hot pedestrian part.

According to the article linked above, the Army prefers that the blimp be instead referred to as an "airship".  Sorry, US Army!  A blimp by any other name is still a blimp, Pork Chop!  Big Brother has never looked so cute!  And slow.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:26 AM

September 29, 2004

squinting, smirking lies

TPM [expanding Paul Krugman's column today] has raised the issue of "the post-debate debate" (which you can read here).  In a nutshell: the "win/lose" value of each of the participants in the Presidential debates is determined by the media coverage following the debates instead of something tangible, like performance, or what you could call "what actually happened".

TPM warns the Democratic Party that their "message" better be strong like Zell Miller is batshit crazy and hit the ground running on Thursday, or else the terrorists will have won.

I'd like to humbly suggest the strategy that we (whatever "we" is comprised of -- let's say "amateur writey types") do that cute little trick that we see dissected on The Daily Show, with conservative talking heads all mysteriously using the same phrase even though they're all in different places at different times and you can barely see the implants behind their right ears.  I guess the kind phrase for this practice is "staying on message", though it's actually a pretty primitive exercise in psy-ops.

Not that I suggest that we stoop to their level, but, after careful consideration, I suggest that we stoop to their level.  I think that the thrust of the President's performance will be his ability to lie about circumstances (i.e., freedom is increasing in Iraq, the ecomony is growing, my opponent is a chateau-owning millionaire and I am a poor orphan hobo from Plano, TX, etc.) and not only have it sound like the truth, but also convince his audience (and the Fourth Estate in attendance) that it is the truth, the unassailable, un-fact-checkable truth.  This is the President's special power, and this is the "charm" that his core voters refer to -- though, to me it suggests a cruelty that lights bums on fire after a few lines and two bottles of Night Train.  Another argument for another time, I think.

Anyhow, I propose that the phrase "squinting, smirking lies" is a catchy couple words that captures the President: the bad John Wayne impersonation, the dim-witted arrogance and the inability to distinguish between fact and fiction.  "Squinting, smirking lies." 

I'm offering it up.  If you've got a better one, please share.  Efficacy is the greater goal, here.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:28 AM

September 28, 2004

coding is hard for dummies

The bushwacking through unfamiliar code speeds apace.  That is the reason for the paucity and brevity of posts.

Though, if you want a laff, take a gander.  To me it reads all L. Ron Hubbard on angeldust, but it just may mark the point in history when the Republican Party became sentient.

I'll be back.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:33 AM