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March 23, 2005

lessons antihistimine has taught me

My head is on the stuffy side of the clear/stuffy continuum today, so I am only capable of brief thoughts.  Like there:

It was not Cool Hand Luke that wore a poncho.  It was Clint Eastwood's character in all of those Westerns shot in Italy.  So, to say, "That crazy guy's wearing a poncho just like Cool Hand Luke," is to invite ridicule.

Perhaps the saddest I've been in the past few days is realizing that my scorn for "Spring Break Shark Attack" precluded me from taping it.  Hopefully there will be a sequel; hopefully, the word "Bikini" will appear in the title.

Generally, if someone looks like a crazy guy wearing a poncho from a distance, closing proximity will reward you with verification, like cackling or rolling of the eyes.

Tom DeLay urgently needs to look up the word "autodefenestration".  Oh, wait!  The word doesn't exist.  Bwoo ha ha ha ha.

While there is no clinical proof that wearing a poncho can tranform your average crazy street guy into a memorable crazy street guy, I have my suspicions.

Does my forehead feel warm?

Posted by mrbrent at 11:10 AM

March 22, 2005

somebody owe somebody hunnerd large

The good news in New York is that the Schiavo case has been knocked off the front page of the tabloids.  The better news is that the front pages have been occupied with ongoing tabloid war skirmishes, which is why we all moved to the big city in the first place.

The Daily News had been running a scratch-off lottery promotion, and somebody, somewhere fucked up bad and released incorrect winning numbers, which resulted in a couple of hundred New Yorkers under the impression that they each had won one hundred thousand dollars.

Finding out that they did not actually win one hundred thousand dollars, they became angry.  And, as you can see, the New York Post, the Daily News' knuckle-dragging competitor is just delighted.  Meanwhile, the Daily News scrambles for damage control.  It's like an updated version of "Gangs Of New York", except that I never saw "Gangs Of New York", plus also no improbable hats.

The fact that the Naked City is obsessed with the current state of newspaper affairs was confirmed when I stopped by the deli last night and walked into a ten minute conversation with two off-duty sanitation workers about how the Daily News "better do something" before there's "trouble".  It was a Yankees-winning-the-World-Series level of agitation.

And all without a single act of Congress!

Posted by mrbrent at 10:13 AM

March 21, 2005

briefly, too angry to type more

Now that the weekend is over, congratulations are in order.  I'd like to congratulate the Congress for showing more deliberative concern over Terry Schiavo than they have over the following: education, the enviroment, infrastructure, tax reform, the invasion of Iraq and (ironically) healthcare reform.

And, really, all the righteousness and public hand-wringing and clubby slaps on the back is just about the fuckin' ugliest thing I can remember.  It really does make you wanna resign from the human race in protest.

And that's about it.  Just fuckin' ugly and hypocritical.

Nothing funny here.  Move along.

[Update, 5:57p]  I have calmed considerably.

I have been in what I like to call an "impotent rage state" since Friday night, when I saw that the cable news channels had stooped to 24 hour Schiavo coverage, weighted heavily against her husband.  Amidst the "that's so fucking ugly to trot this story out for political gain" rage was also the "I bet all those Americans who disagree with me are eating this up and will soon take to the streets, with their Bibles and their fast food, and no reasoning will stem the tide" resignation.

Since then, I had been studiously avoiding any news on Schiavo at all, except in headlines.  It was a visceral disgust, and it left me feeling craptacular.  Just being tempted to have an opinion on the matter made me feel dirty.

But today all the good little boys and girls are typing quickly, and, for once, the concurring opinions make me feel relieved instead of suspicious of the choir-preaching.  My favorite sentence is from Kevin Drum, pondering the tepid public reaction:

Apparently the DeLay/Frist/Bush axis has dealt with this so cynically that even the people they're pandering to are uneasy about being treated with such open condescension.

Which, if true, would be about fucking time.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:15 AM

continuing the grand tradition

Mondays, right?  I gotta staff meeting coming up in an hour, and I left my glasses with the pictures of eyes that are open on the lenses at home.  (Open-eye glasses?  There must be some less clumsy way to say that.)  Do you think if I jump out a window, they'll be pissed if I skip the meeting?

Aha, humor about office life!  Staff meetings: arrgh!

It's like Dilbert meets Garfield in Cathy's apartment ovah heah!

Posted by mrbrent at 9:33 AM

March 20, 2005

teevee loves you

I've noticed that one of the lesser commercial television networks is airing a new movie tonight.  It's "made for TV", or, as we say in the entertainment industries, a "MOW".

It's called "Spring Break Shark Attack".

Yes, they're using our irony against us.

Posted by mrbrent at 11:51 AM

now accepting reservations

Yes, there is one in the Yahoo! Box of Headlines that is not about dying or wanting to die in Florida.  Thank God.
• Atmosphere found on second Saturn moon

What kind of atmosphere, you wonder?

Well, it's kind of dark, inviting.  Not exactly exposed brick or anything.  I hate that exposed brick shit.  You can't buy authenticity.  And it just makes everything all dusty, unless you treat it with something.  You know, it's got tablecloths, but not linen.  It's not screaming "expensive table linens" or anything.  It's comfortable.

Yeah, you could call it romantic.

Not like Uranus at all.

Posted by mrbrent at 10:31 AM